Thursday, 7 August 2014

UGH! Why?

Why?
Why?
I have gained some weight back again.

Do I stop caring what I eat when I am going through a depression, or am I depressed because I am gaining weight?

I think both are true for me.

I have been  having a hard time lately, so I turn to food. Which as we all know...sigh...why? Why do I do this to myself?

Sunday, 22 June 2014

Another Aha moment

 I kind of had an AHA moment this week.

I was wiping off my dogs feet one morning, when a little  centipede scuried in front of me. I stepped on it. I never do things like that. I dont like bugs, but I never kill them. I usually pick them up and bring them outside. I figure, just because I dont like them, does not make it ok to kill them. See where I am going with this?

So I stepped on it. Out of fear, or because I was startled. I lashed out with my deadly foot, and killed it. Or so I thought. I had only smushed it, but it lived. Ugh. I brought it outside, like I should have in the beginning. It was while I was outside that I noticed I had hurt it, that one half was not moving right. Ugh. Should I kill it, to take it out of its misery? It fell off my napkin and was gone before I could decide.

I have felt guilt ever since.

I hurt or killed a creature for no other reason then it startled me.

Tuesday, 17 June 2014

Why?!

Why do I do this?

I exercise and watch what I eat...then bam! Evening happens.

I have to think of a strategy that will help me with my evening loss of control. If I dont, I will never lose the last 20n lbs.

Monday, 16 June 2014

Scale obsession

I have not been logging my weight everyday on my Scale Obsession page for awhile. It was so erratic that I decided to not log it. Also, my scale has been at work for the last month.

I will start logging again, because I found it helped to keep a record. My scale is still not showing a difference, but I tried some clothes and halleluiah...they fit!

All the walking has helped, but of course I would like to see a difference in the scale too.

I have decided to try for another 20 lbs. I feel great, but I want more.  I want my outside to match my insides and my head. It really bothered me when I saw myself in a mirror the other day.

I know I have to accept loose skin, and that my body will never look like it should. I figure that if the folds of skin have less fat in them, that the rolls wont be as obvious.

I watched The Biggest Loser a few years ago. One of the guys there had lost a huge amount. He had loose skin, but he had kept at it, and with exercise had made the skin nearly disappear.

My lose skin still has fat in it, so it looks more like rolls then loose skin.

***

I just googled loose skin. I realize that I dont have that big of a problem!

Friday, 13 June 2014

Frustrating

I have lost over 80 lbs. I have been walking every day for over 30 days now. Many times more than twice a day! My legs are getting harder, and I am walking at a much faster pace. Yeah me!

My scale still does not show much difference. I fluctuate around 173-175 lbs. Oh well. My clothes feel better.

I saw myself in a mirror yesterday. Ugh! I was sitting down, so all the rolls were rolling...

Though I feel better, look better...I still look overweight. My outsides do not match my insides.

I drink green smoothies, and walk everyday. I Dont drink pop, dont eat junk food. I dont eat anything white (sugar, flour, processed food), yet I still look fat.

I need to lose some more.



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